In my 18 months of being a mom to a wonderful little girl, I often find myself asking am I a good mom? I constantly compare myself to the moms I see around me. I notice when their child looks happier, has less meltdowns, and seems more advanced. It immediately starts a cascade of thoughts running through my head. Because let’s face it, we go through this world looking at others hoping our lives have just a glimpse of what others are looking for.
With this second pregnancy, I have decided that I need to take a step back and give myself the affirmations that I am doing the right steps for my life. And as a mother giving advice to another mother, you are a good mom. You are doing the best possible thing for your children.
Here are just a few examples:
1. From early on in my first pregnancy, I decided that my child won’t get processed sugar until she’s 2. Does this mean I get meltdowns at the store when she sees cookies and ice cream and we walk by it. It sure does. Does she get mad if mom sneaks a bite of chocolate because it’s a pregnancy craving? Heck yes she does. But for me, I felt that was best. You are a good mom if you withhold sugar. You are a good mom if you give them sugar! If sharing an ice cream with your little one is a special treat then go for it. Does a bribe of mm’s help give you 3 minutes of peace? Bribe away! You are a good mom who is surviving raising and molding another human being.
2. At 4 months old, my doctor said my daughter should be sleeping through the night. So after that appointment, we went home and got her to sleep through the night. Did it involve crying it out. Heck yes it did but I knew she would be okay. I was comfortable as she had never coslept with us and she was always in her room from the beginning. You are a good mom if your little one sleeps through the night. You are a good mom if your baby still cosleeps and wakes up multiple times in the night. If you want to give the extra cuddles and ensure that they are next to you, then go for it! It’s a mother’s preference and don’t let anyone put you down for your decisions.
3. I always thought I wouldn’t let my child watch a movie until this second pregnancy happened, and now Finding Dory is our savior. Did I realize the movie isn’t for Harley’s sanity but really for mine. Turning on a movie isn’t the end of the world. It is 5 minutes of peace for a parent to unwind. You are a good mom. If you choose to not turn on the tv, more power to you! We are both good moms just choosing to embark on separate decisions. And guess what? That is okay.
As a mother, we need to be less hard upon ourselves. Children throw tantrums, they can flip their attitude in a matter of moments. We don’t need to be judged because everyone loves and nurtures in different ways. You are a good mom, no matter what you may think.